Sleep and Stress: The Biology, the Impact, and the Fix
The Toxic Relationship Between Stress and Sleep
I think that many of us are feeling overwhelmed lately. Life’s been a lot lately. So many of us are juggling work, parenting, bills, and a creeping sense of impending doom given the state of our social and political climate (ugh and the actual climate, now that I’m thinking about it). There’s so much to worry about and while we may not be facing imminent threat to our survival, everything feels important. It feels like the stress is building and compounding.
Here’s the thing about chronic stress:
At first, sleep in the face of stress can just felt “meh.” A few middle-of-the-night wakeups. Some tossing and turning. Able to be shrugged off—who doesn’t feel a little tired these days? But after months of this chronic stress, sleep can officially become a problem. It can start to look like dreading bedtime because you know your mind will rev up the second you lie down.
Soon, your body never seems to hit full “off” mode. Mornings feel foggy. Coffee does damage control, but you’re not recharging—you’re coasting on fumes.
Chronic stress doesn’t shout; it whispers. It builds quietly, keeping the nervous system stuck in a state of low-level activation. Over time, the body forgets how to power down, and the sleep that does happen feels shallow and unsatisfying.
Welcome to the cycle many of us know all too well. Stress hijacks sleep, and poor sleep worsens stress, creating a feedback loop, one that affects your hormones, brain, and body. Let’s break it down: what’s happening inside your body, how it messes with your mind, and how you can finally restore some peace—without relying solely on bubble baths and deep breathing.
The Biology of Stress – Your Brain on Hyperdrive
Let’s start in your brain. When we’re talking about stress, we’re talking about an area of the brain called the Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal (HPA) axis. When your brain perceives a threat (think deadlines, bills, in-laws), it activates this axis. It starts in the pituitary gland. This pea-sized gland is located at the base of your brain, and despite its tiny size, it has a huge job: it acts as the "master gland" by releasing hormones that control other hormone-producing glands throughout your body, such as the adrenal glands.
So in short: the pituitary gland plays a central role in amplifying and coordinating the stress response—like a project manager yelling, “Go! Go! Go!” to your adrenal glands. The adrenal glands then flood your system with cortisol and adrenaline—a potent chemical combo that ramps up heart rate, sharpens focus, and primes your body for immediate action, as if your life depended on it (whether you’re running from a bear or you’re reading an email from your boss - the HPA axis isn’t great at differentiating). This is the fight-or-flight system.
Cortisol is commonly known as the stress hormone, but it can also be thought of as an alerting hormone. When it’s functioning well, it rises in the morning to help wake us up and declines at night to allow us to sleep. High cortisol levels, especially in the evening, suppress melatonin (the hormone that signals it’s time for sleep). Your body then stays in a state of hyperarousal, making it hard to wind down. Chronic stress means this system stays activated, training your body to associate bedtime with overthinking, not rest.
What Poor Sleep Does to Your Body and Brain
Lack of sleep doesn’t just make you grumpy. It messes with nearly every system in your body:
Cognition: Impaired memory, decision-making, and focus. Ever forget why you walked into a room? That.
Emotion: Sleep deprivation jacks up the amygdala, your brain's fear center, and weakens the prefrontal cortex, your inner voice of reason. Hello, irrational spirals.
Physical Health: Increased inflammation, weakened immunity, greater risk of heart disease, and metabolic disruption.
Mood: Higher risk of anxiety and depression, which, yes, makes sleeping even harder.
Sleep deprivation keeps the stress response dialed up, creating a vicious loop: stressed → can't sleep → more stressed → still can't sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Strategies That Actually Work
Before I get to the actionable strategies, I want to first say that if you’re stuck in systems and patterns that lend themselves to chronic stress, you’re always going to be fighting overwhelming stress (yeah fighting stress doesn’t sound very relaxing, right?). So if you’re at a job that asks too much of you and then go home to a family system that also asks too much of you (think: the mental load of being the default parent), you’re not going to be able to turn down the volume of stress by engaging in a few coping strategies. We need to first build a life that supports balance and gives us the space to care for ourselves. I know that isn’t always possible, but to the extent that it is: ask for help, challenge the overachiever mindset, and work on being “good enough” instead of perfect.
Ok back to the show…
While relaxation techniques like deep breathing are a great first step, let’s level up. Here are evidence-based strategies from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) that address the mental habits fueling your stress-sleep spiral.
1. Challenge the Negative Thinking Patterns
When your brain whispers, "If I don't sleep, my life will fall apart," it’s time to challenge the drama.
Identify the thought.
Examine the evidence ("Have I survived bad sleep before?").
Replace with something more balanced ("Tired doesn’t mean doomed. I’ll cope tomorrow like I have before.").
2. Scheduled Worry Time
Pick a daily 15-minute slot (nowhere close to bedtime!) to write down your worries. You’re giving your brain a container for the chaos, teaching it that 3 a.m. is not an appropriate brainstorming session. Be sure to ask yourself which aspects of those worries are within your control and which aren’t. Create a plan for what you will do to address what’s in your control.
3. Stimulus Control Therapy
Train your brain to associate bed with sleep only. Here’s the golden rule: if you’re not asleep after ~20 minutes, get up and do something boring in dim light. Return only when you’re sleepy. Bed is for sleep and sex. That’s it. You can read more about stimulus control here.
4. Behavioral Experiments
Put your beliefs to the test. Think, "If I don’t check my phone before bed, I might miss something urgent"? Try skipping it for a week. Journal what happens. Spoiler: probably nothing burns down.
5. Paradoxical Intention
Try to stay awake on purpose. That’s right—tell yourself you must stay awake. This reverse psychology often removes the pressure and lets sleep sneak in the back door.
6. Values-Based Sleep Motivation
Instead of framing sleep as a chore (“I have to sleep now”), link it to what matters to you: “I rest so I can be present for my family.” This reframe boosts motivation and gives purpose to your routine.
Healthier Patterns Can Start Tonight
Stress is inevitable in life. But you don’t have to stay stuck in negative patterns. With a little biological know-how and a few CBT tools, you can break the cycle. It won't always be perfect (welcome to being human), but progress beats perfection.
So the next time your brain decides to throw a 2 a.m. anxiety rave, you’ll be ready—guest list closed, cortisol on mute, and a good night's sleep finally making a comeback.
As always, I’m here if you need someone to help you navigate the stress of our current world. You’re only human, and sometimes as humans we need a partner on our journey. Schedule a free, no obligations consultation call today, let’s get you on your journey to restful sleep!
